Welcome to my March Madness. After the State of the Union, the internet scrutinized the looks of the newest Kennedy in elected office, Joseph Patrick Kennedy III. One person on a podcast even went so far as to name him the Hottest Kennedy, a statement I found insane and likely inaccurate.
So I turned to my partner in all things Irish, Molly Donahue. Molly is a producer at Gimlet Media, native of New Hampshire, which seems to be basically Boston, and longtime Kennedy fan. I figured her lifelong admiration of the Kennedys would provide a counterweight to how I was raised, which is that my aunt turned off Ted Kennedy's funeral because of that time he killed a woman.
My family wasn't huge fans of the Kennedys. I think it was an Irish-Italian rivalry of some sort.
Molly and I had every intention of making a list and ranking the Kennedys by attractiveness. This got out of hand quickly because there are over 90 Kennedys who can trace their heritage back to Joe and Rose Kennedy. Instead of doing a list, we decided to create a March Madness Style Bracket and let people vote on which Kennedys were the hottest.
As always, some caveats. Only descendants of Joe and Rose are eligible. However, that still left us with literally 96 of-age Kennedys who are eligible to the list, and I couldn't find an internet site that would let me make a bracket of more than 64 slots. Molly and I decided to include every first, second and third generation Kennedy which leads to 40 Kennedys. Then we made a separate ranking of the great-grandkids, and included the top 24 to round out the list. Sorry to the 32 Kennedy great-grandchildren who were not included. Some of you didn't have available pictures, some of you only had photos where you looked under 18, and I don't rank people who look under 18.
Finally, before we head to the bracket, a very serious note. According to Wikipedia, "at least one Kennedy family member held federal elected office in every year between 1947 and 2011, and then from 2013 onwards, a span of time comprising more than a quarter of the United States's existence."
That's insane. We basically live in a monarchy.
And if we must live under these kings, we can objectify them. So look no further than the Kennedy Hotness March Madness bracket. Get your votes in! Round 1 ends on the 7th.