She Doesn't Have the Range

Short lived memes based on old comedy sketches is one of my favorite things about the endless void that is the internet, and "she doesn't have the range" is currently ticking off all those boxes. For the uninitiated, "she doesn't have the range" is a line from a British sketch comedy show, but it has reentered popular culture with a savvy Twitter user who applied it to current pop stars.

Britney, we're proud you got your life back on track but you don't have the range.

Britney, we're proud you got your life back on track but you don't have the range.

6 Inch was my least favorite song on Lemonade, and it was because of the Weeknd

6 Inch was my least favorite song on Lemonade, and it was because of the Weeknd

See how it works? Of course you do, you're a smart audience. With all the recent VP speculation, I thought I would try my hand at some political predictions (even though it didn't go so well last time) and let you know who does, and doesn't have the range to be the Vice President. Let's dive right in.

Elizabeth Warren, Senator

--Senator Warren (D-MA) is adored by the progressive faction of the party, and might bring in Bernie Sanders supporters who are disillusioned by Hillary Clinton.
--If Donald Trump really does hand the election to the Democrats, particularly in states like Arizona, where Republican incumbent Senators are in danger of losing their seats to Democrats, the Senate could be once again controlled by Democrats. If that's the case, Senator Warren could be at the helm of a powerful progressive bloc. She can raise a lot of money, her ideas are supported by a lot of people, and she is already a leader in the Party. That's a lot of power to give up for a position that is, at best, a possible stepping stone to the presidency, and at worse, the best way to be lost to history.
--Love her to bits, but she doesn't have the range.

Julian Castro, Secretary of Housing and Urban Development

Me with Secretary Castro, who low-key looks like he wants to get out of this conversation.

Me with Secretary Castro, who low-key looks like he wants to get out of this conversation.

--I met him once
--Youngest member of President Obama's cabinet and former mayor of San Antonio, Texas.
--A poll conducted back in 2014 showed that 62% of Hispanics would be more likely to vote for a Democratic candidate if Castro himself were on the ticket.
--In an election cycle dominated by racism from Donald Trump, specifically anti-Mexican racism, how awesome would it be to have a Mexican American on the ticket?
--He's very young, and could come across as inexperienced and not ready for the position.
--I'm sorry to say it, but he doesn't have the range.

Sherrod Brown, Senator

--If you believe the myth of the "home state advantage" that a Vice Presidential candidate could help deliver a key state that is needed to win an election, Senator Sherrod Brown (D-OH) who comes from the grand-daddy of swing states, Ohio, is your man.
--Recent research has shown that the home state advantage doesn't usually pan out, and candidates are not more likely to win a state if their Vice Presidential pick is from there.
--Brown has the progressive credentials of not supporting trade deals like the TPP, which would help Clinton out in states like Michigan, which she lost in the primaries.
--No one really knows who he is.
--He doesn't have the range.

Cory Booker, Senator

Cory, you can be the VP of my heart.

Cory, you can be the VP of my heart.

--Literally the best at Twitter.
--Literally saved a woman from a burning building.
--I could keep going, but basically, Cory Booker (D-NJ) is one of the most personable, open, and charismatic Senators working today, who might be bored with the heirarchical nature of the Senate that makes it hard for freshman Senators to get anything meaningful done. He may jump at the chance to become the Vice President.
--He's so charismatic he may overshadow Clinton.
--Booker once saved a puppy's life, but he doesn't have the range.

Tim Kaine, Senator

--Described himself as boring.
--Speaks fluent Spanish (I've seen him do it, he is fluent but his accent is so-so)
--Senator from Virginia, which again, if you believe the home state advantage theory, could help Clinton win Virginia.
--Long history of advocating for gun control and speaking out against the death penalty, which lead him to be seen as "too liberal" to hold statewide office in Virginia.
--Reportedly considered as Obama's VP, before Obama settled on Biden (and a bromance for the ages)
--Has a very mixed record on abortion, supporting restrictions on abortion access in the past, but has recently taken a more pro-choice stance.
--Love him, hate him, or find him boring, but Senator Kaine has the range.

And now, for the Republicans.

Chris Christie, Governor

--Bruce Springsteen doesn't like him.
--Possibly killed a woman with his manufactured traffic jam.
--Even though he endorsed Trump fairly early, his personality is too similar to Trump's, and he wouldn't do him any electoral favors, as New Jersey is likely to vote Democrat in the election.
--He doesn't have the range.

Bob Corker, Senator

--A good, sensible counterweight to Trump's balloon of insanity.
--Straight up said he didn't want the job.
--He doesn't have the range.

Newt Gingrich, Former House Speaker

--Long history of political service, a good balance to Trump's lack of experience.
--Been following Trump's campaign since the beginning, and reportedly identifies with the businessman and his ideals.
--Promised we would have a moon colony by 2020.
--With Trump taking him out on the campaign trail, it appears that Moon Man Newt indeed has the range.

For those playing along at home, my VP picks are Senator Tim Kaine for the Democrats and Former Speaker Newt Gingrich for the Republicans. Only time (and inside information from candidates' campaigns) will tell if I'm right.